It’s a village, whether you feel it or not, it is.
And the best villages are made with kindness.
I have spent a good portion of my parenting journey feeling utterly alone. It’s a precarious feeling.
We can’t raise kids alone. We just can’t.
And we aren’t supposed to.
Kids should have a variety of eyes on them, eyes with different experiences and knowledges and insights. They should be surrounded by that depth, even if they aren’t people in their immediate lives or homes.
Today as I went to collect my little one, another child in her class was distressed. I stopped and spoke gently to her and we worked out what to do, which involved a man who is a friends parent helping. Then I messaged her mum. Then I came across a boy we know who’d had a mixup in transport and was upset. We worked out what to do with the teacher aides and sorted it out. And I messaged his mum.
I picked up my babe and found another mum waiting with her, because I was last to arrive. They’d had a relief teacher and she thought it would be nice for someone familiar to wait with her. I was very grateful.
My babe and I went to get our customary sushi before swimming, in which time she saw, and ran after to greet, six of her little friends, and a teacher aide. Which bought me to the realisation of how many people she knew who I did NOT know.
The sushi lady remembered her favourite sushi without prompting.
At swimming I held the door for a mum, who was following a wet and very cold girl and wrestling a large swimming bag and an energetic tot, who at that precise moment got down, took three steps, slipped on the tiles and promptly burst into tears.
I received messages back from the Mums at school, bursting with relief and tension at the unexpected and their grateful feelings mirroring my own I’d had an hour ago that someone was there when their child needed it.
I’m no saint, not even close to it. I do however have a unwavering belief in how much better our world is, and our minds are, when we have good strong connections between us. And I desperately hope that when my child needs it, that someone in our village of known and unknown friends will offer her kindness.
We all need help.
And whether we like it or not, we are part of a village, even when we feel most alone, there are people around us. There are neighbours that notice our coming and going, Mums at school who notice our kids, shop keepers who remember what our kids favourite choices are.
The smallest acts of giving and kindness in our communities make the biggest differences.
Wherever you can, be kind, you have no idea what it means to another, or where it will lead tomorrow.
Gentle with you.
A
Photo credit Unsplash Shane Rounce
Amy Madden 