Grounding

Do you have trouble finding your centre? Finding your calm in the experience of anxiety?

Do you notice your body betraying you? Chest getting tight, breath getting short, and skin getting clammy. Maybe you get fidgety.

The first step to making sense of our experiences, and finding our way in the world, is to have some sense of safety and control in our bodies. When we are in the grips of uncertainty we can find our bodies responding before our minds, and this results in confusion.

Grounding is a critical first step in any emotional experience. It isn’t the emotion that is necessarily scary, it is the response within us, the sense of being unable to control that response, the sense of being unsafe and out of control inside of us, as well as outside in the world.

Grounding is a set of tools that can help us re-establish equilibrium in our bodies, so that we can turn our minds to dealing with the context in our worlds.

What techniques do you use for grounding?

There are as many as there are stars in the sky. The trick is knowing which ones work for you, and which you can put into an almost automation, because when we are trying to come down from an emotional response, we are less likely to be able to cognitively and rationally remember what it is that soothes us.

MOST techniques for grounding centre on use of the body, senses and of the breath. Why? Because being in your body, and exercising some control or observation of it, is a path back to the present moment. Anything related to memories or future anticipations is out of our control and takes us out of the present moment. Your senses are touch, taste, hearing, seeing and smelling. Breathwork is generally about being mindful and controlled about breathing.

Breath –
Breathe to your belly. Breathe in your nose and out your mouth. Feel your body expand with the air and feel the pause before the exhale. Feel what your lungs are like when air is expelled. Notice the sensation of breath as it passes through your nose and through your mouth. Control of the breath will help with controlling hyperventilating and the sharp intake of oxygen. Controlling the breath will also impact on the rhythm in your body. Controlled and measured breathing can help to slow your heart if it is racing. Rhythm in your breath will give a scaffolding for other autonomic systems in your body that have increased their speed, and encourage them to align to the rhythm.

Using your body can be a wonderful way to express pent up responses, if you can do this safely. Sometimes its useful to use our body in the way its attempting to move if that is possible. So for example, if your feet are tapping, perhaps you want to go for a brisk walk? If your fingers are fidgeting and wringing perhaps there is something your hands would like to be doing (you might’ve noticed this effect when you’d very much like to clean up the disaster your child is making with spaghetti bolognaise, but there is no point until he’s finished).

If you haven’t got an inkling of what it is your body would like to do (you’ll likely find this develops as you get more in tune with your body, we are trained to ignore our bodies messages and soldier on, this takes some unlearning) maybe you would just like to move her. Try sitting, standing or lying comfortably, whatever suits you, and just moving her, leaning, stretching, moving as you feel inclined. As you do that notice your body in space. What is the surface she is touching? Is it hard or soft? Cold or hot? Is the stretch easy to make, or can you feel it more in some spots than others? Try to focus on your body, and to not respond to the series of thoughts that are no doubt travelling through your mind. Music can sometimes help here.
While it sounds very peaceful and yoga like (and it can be) this can also be crazy silly dance breaks. Put on your music and shake your body out, let her move without rules, without restriction. You could also go for a brisk walk, or a run even. Bodies are made to move, let her move.

Following on from using your body, you might use your senses both in partnership with this, or as a stand alone strategy.

Using your senses is again about controlling, managing and observing them.

Sight / Eyes – Using your sense of sight, you might look about and name things in the room. Naming is important as it links the  observation with the language helping to cement. You might shift your gaze from far to near or vice versa. What can you see?. Eyes can also control the stimuli available to our brains. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might find it more useful to lower your gaze, to perhaps your knees if you’re sitting, and take in only what you can see from there. Your shoes, the floor,  perhaps a rug. This limits the stimuli available to your brain, and helps to make room to deal with the overwhelm without introducing new information.

Touch – our skin and sense of touch can help us ground into the now. What can we feel immediately around us? What is the texture of the chair we sit upon? If we choose to walk what can we feel? What is the ground like? Is there a breeze? How does it feel upon our skin.
Some people find it useful to use an aid when considering sense of touch. You might find a weighted blanket is soothing, or in its absence, pulling a shawl tightly around your can produce a similar effect. The effect is a sense of pressure that can provide signals of safety. A little like a hug can do. Swimmers notice the pressure of water against the skin can produce a sense of calm.
Some people find it useful to use sensations to help them, ice in their hands for the cold, showers for the pressure of the water spray, heat packs for the sensation of warmth.

Smell / Nose – our nose provides information directly to our brain, without bypassing other systems first. Smell is a very important sense, and why so many people experience flashes of memory when encountering a familiar smell. Use familiar smells associated with safe experiences to help you calm. Alternatively you might use natural remedies you trust such as essential oils or salts, to help.

Taste – mindfully savouring taste can work the same way as smell and touch. Noticing what you’re eating, what the texture is like, if it is nourishing your body or serving a purpose. Mindful eating is particularly useful in situations of stress, (think about family dinners you don’t want to have with Uncle whatzisname) focussing on the food, the sensation and the experience can help you to tune out to the stimuli being offered by other people at the table. Once back in your body and feeling safe, it also provides a conversation that you may be more comfortable with having than the one that first made you uncomfortable (“Gee Aunt Betty, this casserole is really great! Do I taste a hint of chilli in it?”)

Hearing – this sense is useful for centring us in the present moment. It asks us what can we hear right now, and gives us access to the here and now, as well as information that the world is going on as it was around us. It has not ended. Be mindful of using hearing as a technique if you are alone, or frightened, or perhaps at night. This sense can amplify fears in those circumstances.

You can put these senses together into the 5,4,3,2,1 technique. Name  5 things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

Whats important here is that you find a strategy that works for you and that helps you to find your way back from feeling overwhelmed or disassociation, and back to feeling in control of your body, and anchored into this moment. When you are feeling safe in your body, you’ll find that your mind will be better able to make coherent work of what is happening in the world around you, and what you need to do or not do.
But first calm.

Gentle with you

A


Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash